Everything But The Weed

Approved by:
Linda Maze, a Wedding photography Gainesville FL in Gainesville Florida

Child maltreatment is a transgression that has been around for quite some time; however, it has only been during the last decade or so that the prevalence of abuse, the reach of emotional trauma, the long term effects and behavioral problems have become better known. Statistics state that 1 out of 5 boys and 1 out of 3 girls have been exposed to abuse before the age of 18. These figures are even more frightening however, with regard to special needs adoptions and fostering, as the figures become more devastating. Special needs parenting statistics state that an estimated 85 to 95 percent of the kids are sexually abused before going into a foster home or being adopted.

When an American visits a foreign country and does not speak the language, they are obviously at a disadvantage. The same holds true with adoptive or foster families when exploited children come to them. These kids have a learned language or attitude that is very different from that of a non-abused child. This requires the adoptive or foster parents to learn the many different ways of interpreting behavior that is unique to that particular child’s experiences.

The best way to understand an abused child’s “language” is to recognize that abuse is an extremely traumatic event that affects their mental health; usually resulting in the inability to cope or use problem solving skills. When parenting a child like this, it must be recognized that an event such as abuse often makes a child feel like any means they had to protect themselves is no longer of any use, leaving them feeling helpless.

For those children who are in a foster home or have been adopted it can be even more difficult for them to adapt. This is because on top of the already traumatic abuse that was on them, they now have to deal with a feeling of parental loss and abandonment.

It can be frustrating, difficult and challenging when parenting a child who has been sexually, emotionally or physically abused. Through no fault of their own, their distorted views of life will many times clash with the desire to help them. However, many experts agree that due to the new parent’s innate desire to nurture and the child’s need to heal, the results will, on most occasions, be a positive experience for both parent and child. The first and perhaps biggest step towards healing is to understand the “language” of an abused child.

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